This entry was posted on Oct 01 2009 by

No, the irony is not lost on me.

That the movie based on my book lost its opening weekend at the box office to a flick with the word “meatball” in the title seems a slap from the backhand of fate.  After all, I’m of (mostly) Italian descent, and my fondness for sauced orbs of ground beef is well known to all with whom I’ve made acquaintance.

Homemade pasta, tomato gravy, and meatballs have been a staple of my diet for as long as I can remember.  It wasn’t until I was twelve, however, that I had my first meatball sub.  I was spending the summer with my grandparents in Providence, Rhode Island, and Grandpa Joe took me to his brother’s restaurant, the Vulterno Club.  We sat at the bar, where he ordered a meatball sandwich for me.  Meatballs in a sandwich?  I’d never heard of such a thing.  I mean, I liked sandwiches.  And I loved meatballs.  But combining the two into a single culinary delight?  What genius had this cook wrought?  Some old-timer sitting a few stools down chuckled as though I didn’t know what I was in for, warning that my impending lunch would have the size and heft of a Sunday paper—too much for a kid like me to handle.  I left not one crumb on the plate.  Ever since that day, if you’ve got a meatball sub, then I’ve got the time.

Now my beloved meatballs have undone me.  I should’ve seen it coming—I’ve watched enough mobster movies to know that when you get whacked, it’s your best friend who does the deed.  But if you’re going to come in second, better that it be to a children’s movie than an ’80s dance retread.

Besides, a world where the sky rains meatballs does sound pretty cool.

2 Responses to “No, the irony is not lost on me.”

  1. admin
    8:17 pm on October 2nd, 2009

    Oh, and congratulations on the movie also.

  2. Unforgiven88
    5:37 pm on October 4th, 2009

    Hey Robert,

    You sir have crafted a fine work of fiction with the Surrogates. I picked it up randomly at megacon ’06 because I liked the art style. It is an amazing book. I was delighted to hear about a movie being made and tried to convince every one I knew to check out your book. So I went and saw it over the weekend…..what happened? That wasn’t the Surrogates. It had the same name and same “basic premise” but besides that it was some awful abortion of a movie that made me feel like I wasted a Sunday afternoon watching. I’ve never disliked a movie as bad as I did this one.

    I love your work, what happened with the movie??? Can we stop Hollywood from thinking they are better writers than comic writers? This is getting ridiculous.

    -A Concerned Funny book Salesman

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